Unemployment: day 67

In August, I decided to invest my retirement benefit to two products. There was gold and space industry. About two weeks after that, do you guess what they are? The space industry was not bad. While the gold was growing enough. I ruckly earned the rise of gold in early this week.

References

• Gold performance – Rakuten Securities –
• Investment opportunity: I feel both anxious and hopeful about the results

Correct version

In August, I decided to invest my retirement benefit in two products: gold and the space industry. About two weeks later—can you guess how they performed? The space industry was not bad, while gold increased significantly. I was lucky enough to profit from the rise in gold earlier this week.

IELTS Improvement Points

Collocation:

“invest in [something]”
　→ The correct preposition is in, not to. Common collocation in finance and IELTS writing.

“rise in gold”
　→ Natural collocation when talking about commodity prices. Stronger than “gold was growing”.

“lucky enough to [verb]”
　→ Polished expression showing natural fluency.

Template:

“I decided to invest in [X] and [Y].”
　→ Simple, clear template for describing choices in IELTS Task 1 or Task 2.

“[X] was not bad, while [Y] increased significantly.”
　→ A contrast structure useful for comparisons, often needed in Task 1 writing.

“I was lucky enough to [verb] earlier this week.”
　→ A good pattern for combining evaluation + time reference.

Vocabulary:

“retirement benefit” → better: “retirement benefits / pension payout”
　→ More natural phrasing for money received upon retirement.

“significantly”
　→ A strong academic adverb often used in IELTS Task 1 to describe notable increases or decreases.

“profit from”
　→ A precise verb for financial gains, better than “earned the rise”.