Unemployment: day 40
From today our family visited my parents home in Ibaraki prefecture. We will stay at my parents’ home from the nineth to the thirteenth of Aug, and at my wife’ parents’ home in Tochigi prefecture from the thirteenth to the sixteenth of Aug. We will be leaving Tokyo for a week.
We went to Ibaraki by limited express Tokiwa. There were massive people in Tokyo station. And the train we got in was full of seats. In summer vacation especially Obon that is a buddhis event to pray for their ancestors, many people come back their home town, so the transportations are really clouded.
References
Correct version
From today, our family is visiting my parents’ home in Ibaraki Prefecture. We will stay at my parents’ house from the ninth to the thirteenth of August, and at my wife’s parents’ home in Tochigi Prefecture from the thirteenth to the sixteenth of August. We will be away from Tokyo for a week.
We travelled to Ibaraki by the Limited Express Tokiwa. Tokyo Station was extremely crowded, and the train we boarded was fully booked. During the summer holidays, especially Obon, which is a Buddhist event for honouring ancestors, many people return to their hometowns, so public transport becomes heavily congested.
IELTS Improvement Points
Collocation:
fully booked
→ Common collocation in British English meaning that all the seats/tickets/rooms are reserved. Stronger and more natural than “full of seats”.
extremely crowded
→ A natural phrase to describe a large number of people in one place. Sounds more formal and precise than “massive people”.
Template:
We will be away from [place] for [time period].
→ A clear and idiomatic way to express absence from a location, often used in both spoken and written English.
-During [time/holiday], especially [specific event], [situation happens].
→ Useful IELTS template to structure explanations about seasonal events, festivals, or cultural practices.
Vocabulary:
hometown(s)
→ A natural word to describe the place where someone grew up or where their family home is, instead of “home town” (which can be split but less standard).
public transport
→ Standard British English term instead of “transportations”, which sounds awkward. It refers collectively to buses, trains, and subways.
to honour ancestors
→ More formal and appropriate phrasing than “pray for their ancestors” when describing cultural or religious practices in IELTS essays.
