Unemployment: day 42
I bought a Nintendo Switch soft Pocketmonster Scarlet. When I was shopping at Aeon Mall, the soft was sold at a second-hand store. It was about 3,500 yen (exclude consumption tax). As the social price was over 4,000 yen in these days, it was rather cheap price.
When I checked to my daughter and son which softs they would like scarlet or violet, my daughter was scarlet, and my son was violet. Although their opinions were split, I bought scarlet. Because my son will rarely play the game, he just only liked Miraidon.
References
Correct version
I bought the Nintendo Switch game Pokémon Scarlet. When I was shopping at Aeon Mall, I found it in a second-hand shop. It cost about 3,500 yen (excluding consumption tax). Since the retail price these days is over 4,000 yen, it was quite a bargain.
When I asked my daughter and son which version they would prefer — Scarlet or Violet — my daughter chose Scarlet, while my son preferred Violet. Although their opinions were divided, I bought Scarlet, as my son rarely plays video games; he only liked it because of Miraidon.
IELTS Improvement Points
Collocation:
excluding tax / retail price
→ Standard collocations in shopping/finance contexts. More natural than “decrease consumption tax” and “social price”.
quite a bargain
→ Common phrase to describe something bought for a good price. Stronger and more idiomatic than “rather cheap price”.
Template:
When I asked [person] which [option A] or [option B], [person] chose [option A], while [other person] preferred [option B].
→ Useful comparative structure to show contrast clearly. Helpful in IELTS Task 1 (charts/tables) and Task 2 (opinions).
Although [situation], I [decision].
→ Good linking device for contrast, showing higher-level cohesion.
Vocabulary:
second-hand shop
→ Standard British English term (instead of “second-hand store” which is more American).
version
→ More accurate than “soft” (a direct Japanese-English borrowing). IELTS rewards precise lexical choice.
rarely plays video games
→ Natural phrasing instead of “will rarely play the game”. Improves fluency and idiomatic usage.
