Unemployment: day 23
Today we visited to Kidzania at Toyosu in Tokyo. Kidzania is a them park to experience various kind of jobs for children.
I joined the queue to enter it from 6:40. So I took a 5th ticket to enter. After that, I met my wife and children and enter Kidzania at 9:00.
My children really enjoyed their jobs, my daughter experienced 8 jobs and my son had 7 jobs. The jobs were below.
- Pencil factory
- Sausage factory
- Paint factory
- Delivery person
- Call center
- Ponzu factory
- Note factory
- Computer factory
I thought that the them park was really good for children’s learning to allow them to notice working and earning.
Reference
Correct version
Today we visited KidZania in Toyosu, Tokyo. KidZania is a theme park where children can experience a variety of jobs.
I joined the queue to enter at 6:40 a.m., so I received the fifth entry ticket. After that, I met up with my wife and children, and we entered KidZania at 9:00.
My children really enjoyed their activities. My daughter took part in eight different jobs, and my son did seven. The jobs were as follows:
- Pencil factory
- Sausage factory
- Paint factory
- Delivery service
- Call centre
- Ponzu factory
- Notebook factory
- Computer assembly line
I thought the theme park was excellent for children’s education, as it allows them to learn about working and earning money.
IELTS Improvement Points
Collocation:
“Today we visited [place]. It is a [type of place] where [description of purpose or activity].”
→ This is a clear and common structure for describing an outing, useful for IELTS Writing Task 1 (informal letters or recounts).
“The jobs were as follows:”
→ A formal way to introduce a list, which is useful in both academic and general writing.
“I thought it was excellent for [purpose], as it allows [someone] to [benefit].”
→ A useful reflective structure for expressing opinions with reasoning, applicable in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Template:
“I approached the counter and said, ‘_‘”
→ A commonly used narrative structure in speaking/writing when reporting a dialogue or interaction with an official. Useful in Task 1/Task 2 when explaining a process.
“I managed to _“
→ Useful template to express successful completion or overcoming difficulty, often used in IELTS Writing Task 1 (General) or Task 2 when reflecting on outcomes.
Vocabulary:
“theme park”
→ Correct spelling (not “them park”). This term refers to amusement parks with a central theme; it’s common in IELTS vocabulary.
“entry ticket”
→ More specific than “ticket”, clarifies the purpose of the ticket in IELTS writing.
“call centre”
→ British spelling of “call center” — remember to use “centre” not “center” in UK English.
“assembly line”
→ A useful term when discussing factories or work, appropriate for education or industry-related topics.
“educational” / “for children’s education”
→ A better phrasing than “for children’s learning”; more commonly used in formal and academic writing.
